Dream Chasing : Are You Chasing Your Dream or Someone Else’s

Becoming entrepreneurs and bosses have become the goal of the millennials. We all are seeking to be bosses. That’s what’s up, I highly encourage it. Why make someone else rich when we are all born with gifts that we can use?

We all have different gifts that we are born with or acquire. Bloggers, boutique owners, event planners, designers, concierges, singers, models, photographers, promoters, I mean I can go on forever. The rise in social media has allowed us to see how successful people are in these different ventures. We see people who instantly are becoming IG famous just for being funny, or even beautiful. We see the lifestyles of those that appear to be “winning” and often want to mimic it.

What is not realized is most of these successful people have a passion for what they do. Although the goal was to become rich, they started with just having a love for their craft. I’m noticing so many are becoming blinded by the sight of being rich, or known, that they just out here trying to use “gifts” that they were not called for.

The millennials are no longer living off their own dreams. They are following the dreams of the success seen on social media. For instance just because one person is successful selling plates via social media does not mean I will be successful. I could be an awesome cook, but it takes more than just cooking good. It takes drive, determination, passion, and a hunger for the success. If you don’t possess any of those qualities, then chances are it may not be your gift or your calling. When you have a true gift you are willing to take losses, work for free, and have sleepless nights. You eat, sleep and dream about ways to perfect your craft, networking, branding yourself, and  ways to promote yourself. When you’re doing it just for the money, you quickly get discouraged and move on to the next gift that you see someone successful in.

We all have a gift, I promise. Something that you love and think about or do naturally all the time. But just know, what works for someone else, may not work for you.

We all see Ming Lee out there slinging hair and that she is a millionaire. We see her traveling and pushing that G-Wagon and living lavishly. So its easy for someone to want to start chasing Ming Lee’s dream and not their own. If the passion and the dream does not belong to you, it probably won’t work.

Here’s some tips on chasing YOUR dream and finding YOUR gift:

  1. Think about what it is that you love to do. You may have an obsession with make up, or fashion. Your interest can very well spark your gift
  2. Evaluate your life and think about what truly makes you happy. No matter what you go through, the one thing that can change your mood.
  3. What is it that you constantly think about doing? If getting money is your answer , you’re going in the wrong direction. Although the ultimate to goal is to get paid. What are you willing to do for free?  I remember the days of seeing Trey Songz passing out his cd’s for free and Terrance J putting bumper stickers on cars for free for the radio station. Look at them both now! What they did for free, eventually paid off. It’s about branding, marketing and promoting. But if there is no passion it won’t work.
  4. Are you willing to give up sleep/free time to perfect your gift?
  5. What gives you butterflies or excitement when you do it?
  6. Think about your childhood. Most gifts begin at an early age. What were your interest as a child?

Just a small guide to finding your gift. It’s easy to see someone else’s success and attempt to mimic it, but chasing your own dream is so much more rewarding. Chasing someone else’s dream will leave you broke, frustrated, angry and could potentially cause you to lose sight of  your own dreams.

Always be a dream chaser, just make sure its your dreams that are being chased.

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A Mother’s Day Letter

Dear Mommies,

It our weekend! The weekend we get acknowledged for all we do 365, 24/7. The one day we get a thank you or job well done for being awesome mommies and in some cases playing that father role.

A mother’s love for her child begins the moment she finds out that a baby is in her womb. A baby has heard the mother’s heart beat from the inside and felt her every emotion, from happiness to sadness. A mother and a child has a bond that is unbreakable.

Mommies, the road of being a mother is not always easy. In fact its probably the hardest road you will ever travel. It starts with sleepless nights with your newborn, to sleepless nights with your teenager and adult children. No matter how old the child is the mother will forever be just as protective as she was with the newborn.

Mommies, our children don’t always turn out the way we imagined. In life we have already learned that happily ever after only appear in story books. But regardless of how our chapters turn, they are always our babies.

We love our children more then we love ourselves and we sacrifice so much for them. Some of us lost our hour glass figures for our babies that we are trying to get back 16 years later lol. We make major sacrifices that only other mothers can understand. I’m not bashing fathers because there are some great fathers. But at least 8/10 times when a baby is sick, mommy is taking care of them. Mommy is carpooling to afterschool practices, mommy is  being super woman.

But basically, I just wrote everything that you already knew. Mommies you are awesome. This mommy thing is not easy and there is no manual for this. So it doesn’t matter if you are a Clara Huxtable type mother or a “deadbeat mother”. The point is you are a mother and birthed a child and no one can ever take that from you. Truth be told we have all made bad decisions and mistakes with parenting. The good news is as long as you have breath, you have a shot at getting it right. Our babies need our love, especially in the times we live in. I read a story of a 8 year old taking his own life and it broke my heart. Your kids will always need your love, and support, even when they have their own children.

Mommies, give yourself a pat on the back! You deserve it! Being a mother is the most rewarding, awesome position that you could have. Just think, God trusted a sweet little baby, an entire life to give to you. Motherhood is a pure blessing.

Single mothers that are doing it on your own, I have a message for you. Just know the toughest battles are given to the strongest soldiers. Trust me its hard I know, but your kids notice your double roles. One day it will pay off! You ladies keep up the good work. I know its emotionally, physically and financially draining. But you doing what that man couldn’t. You will get double for your trouble!

So from me, to you, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY LADIES!

Living Your Truth

I was introduced to the term “living your truth” last year at an event with Dutchess of Black Ink Crew at a youth center for gay and lesbian teens in Charlotte, NC. This event was one of the most humbling and eye opening events I had ever attended. Who would have thought a woman in her 30s who thought she had her life all planned out would learn so much from these kids. But I did, I learned all about living in my truth.

For years I struggled with knowing exactly who I was. I spent the majority of my life wanting to be accepted and liked. I did anything to keep my friends and others happy with me and nothing hurt me worst then knowing someone was upset with me. I have always worked a 9-5, but they were basically just to pay the bills. Nothing of true passion or expressing the true me. At this point in my life I was so far off from living my truth and I had no clue who I really was . I lived the life that I thought others wanted to see me live or the life that made others happy. I truly neglected myself, my happiness, and my state of mind.

For years I dealt with depression. I never understood why because at sight I had everything going for me. This includes my relationship with God and my commitment to religion. I loved God and I loved my church family, but any given weekend you could find me in a club and the next day (Sunday) find me in church. My mind was far from stable because I was living both lives, that of a committed Christian as well as that of the on the scene girl who like to party and have a good time. I wanted so badly to please my church family and my mom that I was literally living two lives smh. This caused me to lose myself and  almost lose my mind because I had no idea who I really was or what I wanted in life. Not to mention during this period I got sick and didn’t have a clue what my future held (that opened my eyes too, but I’m going to save that for my book).

I started blogging in December 2015 and birthed Keeping up with Kei. I was just blogging about subjects that would pop up in mind lol. Just random topics any given day. It gave me peace and me being a quiet girl it gave me a voice. I reached out to a popular blogger Cherisse Jamison for some pointers and she was awesome. Her blog is very successful and often filled with celebrity interviews and events. Cherisse gave me my first celebrity assignment, attending Dutchess’ event with gay and lesbian teens. This gave me the opportunity to talk to Dutchess and test out my interview skills. It was that moment of hearing stories from those kids about living in their truth despite what anyone thought that gave me the motivation I needed.

Living in your truth means allowing that person inside of you to come out, and live freely, happily and in truth. We spend so much time living life how it is supposed to be that we forget to live in happiness and truth. In all honesty we spend a majority of our lives living to be someone else.

Here is my guide to living in your truth:

  1. Accepting who you are-  Identify who you truly are and what makes you happy. Take everything and everyone out of the equation and only focus on you. What do you think about constantly? What is it that you cannot live with out? Don’t worry about anyone else’s opinion of you.
  2. Define your truth- now that you have accepted who you are define it. Are you a boss? Are you a motivator? Are you a speaker? Are you a life coach? Or are you identifying with your sexuality or personality? Whatever it is, define it!
  3. Live it- Now that you have accepted who you are and defined it, its time to live it. Live it to the fullest. Be the best at being the real you that you can be. I promise it feels so good being your self.

To find your truth, you may have to separate yourself for awhile. Take time to mediate and pray about who you really are. I encourage fasting from social media during this journey. Nothing can cloud your vision of life like social media can lol. Everybody’s life looks perfect there. Once you start living in your truth, life will be so different.

Now that I am living in my truth, I am embarking a journey I never thought I would take. The once painfully shy girl is now co-hosting on radio shows, making media appearances, setting up speaking engagements, and inspiring everyone she can.

When I found my truth I realized that being quiet and shy was not me at all. It was the devils attempt to keep me from my destiny. I am still that girl that loves God and church and if you see me partying its for a purpose.

Never be ashamed of who you truly are. God made us all unique. Once you start living in your truth, your life will change. It may not be comfortable, but I can assure you its worth it. Examine your flaws,  or what society perceives as flaws. Within them some of your truth lies.

 

 

 

 

 

Women and Situationships

As women we often find ourselves in situationships that we create on our own. Women want love and healthy relationships. Often times in order to prove this to a man we began being loyal and committed to single men with no signs of a title being attached. We give the men all the benefits of a relationships with no commitment from them. We place ourselves in these situationships and often are hurt or angry at the outcome.

Situationships become a continuing cycle amongst women. When we finally see that there is no future we move on. The problem with this is, we move on to doing same thing again smh.

Here are some signs of a situationships. Be honest with yourself and accept the signs because girl you deserve better:

  1. You don’t go on dates- Netflix and chill does not equal a date. Nor does “chilling” at each others crib.
  2. You don’t have clear way to describe your relationship- if you refer to him as your “friend” and feel awkward as soon as you say it, your probably in a situationship. Or if you defend your relationship with the famous ” what’s understood don’t have to be explained”, yep probably a  situationship.
  3. No long term goals together- if you can’t discuss your future together with them, that may be an indication that you don’t have a future together.
  4. Texting is your primary form of communication-  With situationships this does not include “good morning beautiful” messages or  “how’s your day” messages. These are more like “come thru” or “pull up” messages.
  5. You’re not interested in anyone else because in your mind one day he will come to his senses and realize how awesome you are.

Being in a situationship is like playing Russian roulette with your heart. You pray that it will end happily ever after but its a big chance that you will end up hurt. Life is too short to give yourself to someone who does not appreciate you. No matter how good of a woman you are, you will never be good enough for a man not ready to settle down. So don’t put yourself through the pain. In all honesty a situationship is like a one night stand that goes on for more then one night.

I know its cliché ladies but trust me your Boaz is out there. Stop giving your hearts to men that don’t deserve it.

TI has a message

A lot of people have formed opinions on TI and Tiny’s news that they are filing for divorce. TI’s recent statement that marriage was a “distraction” caused a flood of comments amongst Blogs and gossip pages. 
So, TI being TI has a message for all those opinionated people… it’s basically… Mind your business. 
TI and Tiny feel like family to most of us. We’ve watched their family grow, Tiny hold him down while he did a prison bid, the new addition to the family, Tiny’s loss of her father and much more. . You name it we’ve witnessed it. We have been there with the Harris family for years. So the news that this is the last season of The Family Hustle, news of divorce, and the Berniece rumors has us a little in our feelings.
But the King has spoken….


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