The Facts of Life

Life throws curves balls that we ne never expect. In life you just never know what your going to get. You can plan for everything to go right.. And all of a sudden it’s going left. I’ve recently been thinking lately about the facts of life. To me there is a thin line between life and actually living. But after 33 years of living, here’s my observation on the fact of life.  

1. You can plan your life as perfect as you want. But it rarely goes as smoothly as plan. I’m not saying your goals won’t happen, I’m just there’s often a delay that’s unplanned for.

2. You have to take the good with the bad. The realist quote ever is the same thing that makes you smile, will make you cry. You have to be prepared in life to take the good  with the bad, and the happy with the sad. Be cautious and know that when you live for the moment, it normally only last a moment. 

3. Only right now is promised. Not the next  second, next minute or hour. Right now is the only moment that is for sure. So every second you spend mad, sad, depressed or complaining. You can’t get that back and may not even have a chance too. Smile and be happy as much as possible.

4.In life at some point you’re going to hurt, you’re going to cry. That’s fine, we’re human. However give yourself a day. The bible even says “weeping may endure for a night but joys comes in the morning. So basically cry for a night and move on. That next day, fix your hair, beat your face, hold your head up and smile. That situation didn’t break you or kill you. It just pushed you towards a new beginning. 

5.You only get one life…. One chance at it… Make the best of it. Live your life as it makes you happy. Others opinions don’t matter. God had a plan for you before anyone had an opinion of you. Follow his plan it won’t fail. 

Advertisements

PromQueens

I heard a single mother today speaking about how she didn’t know how she was going to cover many expenses during her daughter senior year, including prom. 

I immediately flashed back to my Senior year and remembered everything my mom had to pay. That’s when it hit me… It would be super dope and rewarding to sponsor a young lady and make her night memorable. 

Last year my daughter attended her 8th grade prom. I was super stressed. I was sick at the time, undergoing chemo. Life was crazy. I was only working 4 days a week and times were very hard for us. So I’m panicking because I really can’t afford the dress she wants but I wanted her beautiful. I texted this girl and asked if her aunt could make a dress for me. She said no lol. But then text me asking what size Taliyah wore, and that she had three dresses Taliyah could choose from and wear, no charge! Her aunt told me she would the alter the dress. No charge! 

Very few people knew what I was going through. This family definitely did not know. This girl is someone 4 years earlier I had beef with, and couldn’t stand. They had no clue how much they blessed me. For that reason I have the upmost respect for them. Taliyah’s dad took care of the rest. She had a beautiful 8th grade prom night. The two ladies I spoke of were also two that volunteered to help with this event. 

My life is back semi-normal now, so it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t bless others. With the number of volunteers I have already received. We can make a few girls night magical. I’ve received dress donations, make up artist volunteering time, hair stylist, and people ready with monetary donations. I’m super hype.

I’m going to bless one girl with new dress, shoes, everything.S.H.E has also volunteered to sponsor a girl.  But if you have dresses that you are willing donate to help others. I am going to set up drop off locations in VA and NC. If we have enough donations I’ll set up a Saturday when high school Juniors and Seniors can come pick out a donated dress. 

Let’s be honest some of you parents paid a pretty penny for prom dresses. Mine mom surely did, and it remained in closet for years. You rarely get the money out of a dress that you put in it. So if you don’t want to donate, I understand. 

I really think 2016 is the year of blessings. Not only to receive blessings but to be a blessing. I’m so excited and thank you to all who have reached out about helping, I amgoimg to organize a committee to come up with criteria for those interested. I’m hoping to have everything collected and finalize by March 20.

My Tax Time Thoughts

So, it’s almost February! Most people’s favorite time of year. Valentine’s Day for the lovers, my birthday for me, and of course TAX TIME.

Now in 2016 let’s stop all the pettiness and the meme’s about “tax time ballers”. It’s old now. This is how I feel, you don’t have to agree… Because it really doesn’t matter. 

I feel like if you work, I don’t care if it’s 365 days or 45 days in a year and you get a tax refund… That’s your money to do what you want. If you want to blow it in one day… Who really cares!? It’s yours!! Do what you want to do with it!!

People kill me screaming tax time baller this and that. Why are y’all mad tho?? That mother who never does anything for herself deserves a 400.00 sew in if she want it. If she wants to drop a stack on a Gucci belt, it’s hers to do so. If I want to go put money down on a brand new Benz, I can. That’s a car note  I am now responsible for. My birthday and my daughter birthday in February, we ball out every year lol.

But do what you want it’s your money. If you want to flex… Go ahead…. You worked hard for it. Oh and to the people who get that child tax credit… You worked double. No job is harder then being a parent and tax time is the only time you get a small reward. So enjoy it! 

Some of y’all be fronting anyway. You may not spend the money in Feb or March like everyone else. But that trip you taking in August,  oh it  was funded by tax money. Lol… You not fooling us! 

So please enjoy life. Tomorrow is not promised… Do what makes you happy! Some people save, some don’t! But at the end of the day, you are only responsible for you and your actions! 

People that complain about “tax time ballers”, please stop. Every second you spend complaining and talking about how someone else spend THEIR money…. Is a second of time you’ll never get back. Plus it’s not going to change anything.

For real, don’t judge me when you see me taking selfies with 22inch Brazilian lol. Just know I worked hard all year for it.

Be blessed everyone!!! 

Xoxoxo

 Kei’s Key to Success

Hey loves,

It’s been a minute because the last few weeks have been crazy for me. Opportunity has been knocking on my door and I’ve been stepping into it. So I want to take a few minutes to encourage someone and motivate you. This is coming from a girl who the odds were against, but I made it and you can too. 

My daughter will be 15 in a couple of weeks. It’s crazy, I have been a mother longer than I have been an adult. We grew  up together. Despite what the media says about young, single mothers… I made it. The road was not easy. I made mistake after mistake as a result of bad decisions. Right now even though I have some obstacles, I also can look around and see I have most of the things I once prayed for. So here’s a few of my keys to success:

1. I was so unhappy in Martinsville and needed the escape. I wasn’t leaving to get away from drama or violence or anybody. It was personal. I knew I couldn’t grow there, so I got out. Now let me warn you, be careful if you decide to move to a bigger city. With a bigger city comes bigger expenses. You’re going to pay more to live nice.  I saw posting last weekend Facebook stating  they pay 400-600 for two and three bedroom houses in Martinsville. That’s a joke in Greensboro. You’ll be lucky to rent an apartment for that. So make sure if moving is what you want, you can afford it. I struggled in the beginning. But it made me work harder and be wiser with my spending. Follow your heart, but make sure you use your head. And don’t get it twisted you can be successful in a little town just as you can a big city. I’ve seen it! My word of advice is if you move, make sure it’s a good move. Not only for yourself but you’re family if you have one.

2. Pay your bills on time!!  I can’t stress this enough to my kids. I made horrible money decisions in my early years and refused to pay bills on time. You can make as much money as you want, but if your credit messed up it means nothing. People out there that have good credit is winning. They can have whatever they want, whenever they want it. If you’re credit is not where you want it, consult a financial advisor. Make 2016 the year you get that credit right. 

3. I don’t care what your current job is… Get up every morning and get dressed for the job you want and the attitude like you already have it. Everyday of your life is an interview. You never know who’s watching you or where that dream job offer may come from. I don’t care what you position is right now, if you want to be a CEO, the next Oprah or whoever. Carry yourself like it daily. Be careful what you post on social media. You don’t want the wrong image to be portrayed of you. Keep it cool and classy! You never know who’s watching, 

4. Go for what you want. In 2012 I had a pretty high paying job here. But I hated that job with everything. So I started applying for jobs I wanted. I had been in supervision, so I wanted to go back. I applied for a job I had zero experience in and by Gods grace I got it. So don’t be afraid to step out there. The job or career you want is waiting for you. Don’t be afraid to hear No. It just means it wasn’t time. Keep applying.

5. Don’t try to be a people pleaser. My favorite saying “you can be as sweet as candy, and there will be someone who don’t like candy” . Forget them! Live your life however it makes you happy. You can’t be successful if you’re not happy, and you can’t be happy trying to please everyone..

6. Set goals and post them where you see them frequently. You want a new house? Find a picture close to your dream house and put it on your refrigerator so you look at it everyday. You want a dream vacation! Find pictures and put it in your wallet. Everytime you get ready to do unnecessary spending that picture will pop up. You have a monetary goal, write yourself a check for that amount. Don’t stop saving until you are able to cash that check. All of these motivators for achieving  your goals work, I promise

7. Be happy for others and support their dreams. I try to support  anyone I know or know of. If they selling it, I’m going to buy it. Don’t be a hater. You can’t come up on life knocking others down. You may not have the money to support them. But word of mouth is the best advertisement. Share their Instagram page or Facebook. I’m a living testimony when you support others it comes back to you. 

8. Surround yourself with other successful people. The saying “it takes one to know one” is so true. You can’t spend time around people who talk but don’t back up with actions. If you see somebody where you want to be, reach out to them. Nobody know what it takes to be successful more than a successful person. 

9. If there is something you think about, dream and passion for… Go after it! Successful people don’t evolve overnight. May take some tears and years. But it will be worth it in the end. Especially if you aiming in the end to become a “boss”.

10.Last but not least actually it’s number one… Keep God first. Have faith and believe that you can be anything you want to be. No obstacle should stop you from achieving your goals or being successful.  Find a secret closet in your home. It can be your bathroom, your closet, your laundry room, wherever. Tell God your dreams and not be so quick to tell others. If a person don’t know your dreams, they can’t shoot them down. 

I hope this helps someone. Most of all young mothers, and fathers, I don’t care what they say .. You can make it. And once you make it, you can encourage others to make it. I got a list of names of females who had kids  at the age of 18 or younger. Right now, they successful, they getting money, they living  their dreams, and I admire them. This not only applies to young mothers,  this is for anyone. You can be whatever you want to be. No excuses in 2016.  

  

Football loyalty vs Relationship loyalty

Today the playoffs began and for most its another Sunday of watching football and rooting for your favorite team. Every week football fans take to social media to defend their teams or trash talk against rival or opposing teams.

One thing I have noticed is how upset most fans become (mostly men), when a person is cheering for another team that they are not known to be a fan of. It is most often said that this person is not loyal and jumps on the “bandwagon” with whatever team is doing well at the time.

This often upsets me because often these are some of the same men who are not loyal or faithful in relationships. Some guys are more faithful to their “team” then their significant other. I mean some of y’all be going extra hard for your team. As far as the ‘bandwagoners” cheering on the team thats winning, its no different then you guys cheering on the girl that winning. You know in her inbox, liking all her pictures, doing whatever to get her attention because she is hot at the time.

Me for example, I am a Redskins fan for life, however the Panthers are the home team, and when they win I get the perks. But I am constantly told that is not showing loyalty and a person should have only one team (kind of like a person should have one girl).

I challenge everyone that says this to make loyalty their number one priority. If you are going to be loyal to a football team, be loyal to your girl. If you decide that your Sundays are designated for football, make Saturday for no one but your lady.

I promise if as much effort was put into relationships as it is football teams. There would be a lot of happy homes.

The Beyoncé Syndrome

Last night a friend on Facebook made a status about women asking men to marry them. I commented how I felt a woman should NEVER ask a man to marry them. So another Facebook friend commented saying to me “Beyoncé got to you”. So of course this got the wheels in my head spinning. I think all of us ladies suffer from what I call “the Beyoncé syndrome”. I mean she  is the greatest counselor ever. So let’s break this down:

1. Me, Myself and I- Bey taught us to depend on ourself and love our self. To be your own best friend.

2. Irreplaceable- Bey reminded us that dudes think they “irreplaceable” so sometimes we have to remind them ” I can have another you in a minute”. We are not losing sleep anymore. 

3. Resentment- We learned it’s okay to admit when we hurt. 

4.Diva- Bought out the diva in all of us. Had us all looking in the mirror reminding ourselves that we are divas.

5.Party-  Remided us life was about having fun. Enjoying your girls, enjoying love, just enjoying life. 

6.Best thing I never had- That man we wanted most but didn’t work out was just a bullet dodged. We cried till we came to our senses,  and realized it was his lost! 

7.If I were a boy- Put in prospective how women view their men. Then it goes into how a woman really wants her man to treat her. Y’all men should have really took notes.

8.Get me bodied- Going out slaying in the club. Just being yourself having fun. Flirting, dancing, just living. 

9.Upgrade you-  Bey let them know, it don’t matter his status or bank account size… She can still upgrade you. Ladies we have to remind these men…. A woman is a valuable asset. Especially a “woman who takes care of home and stay fly”. Jay is the man but Beyoncé, the  pretty girl from Houston definitely upgraded him! 

10.Single Ladies- “If you like it then you should have put a ring on it” Enough said! *waving my left hand and dancing*. We are not putting a ring on a man! Nope!!!

This is only 10, I could go on and on. Beyoncé have taught us women well!  So yeah I got the Beyoncé syndrome, A strong independent woman, who wants but don’t need a man. But when I do get the man I want, we are going to be a power couple! Shoutout to all my ladies with the Beyoncé Syndrome. Let these men know! 

Situationships

My definition of a Situationship is being in what mirrors a relationship but it’s really not a relationship. Here are some signs of being in a Situationship;1. You have been kicking it for awhile and there are no signs of a title.

2. There’s no “dates” I mean after all this is the Netflix and chill generation. His idea of a date is coming to your crib.

3. He has lots of female friends. Especially those “sisters”. (Uhmm if your mama didn’t have her, that ain’t your sister!!  But that’s another story for another time) 

4. He goes days without texting or calling you. Or ignores your text. You stressing and upset and he talking to somebody else. Ladies we get so emotional on unanswered text from our “man” (ask my friends, that will get his number blocked in my phone, I don’t care how good of a man he is). There’s no excuse because a normal persons phone is right by them at all times.

5. He only meets you after the club or late nights.

6. There’s no discussion of future plans

7. He sleeps over whenever he wants. Giving you that feeling of a semi relationship and cuddling 

8. You don’t date or see anyone else but knows he talks to other females 

9. Your main form of communication is texting 

10. You don’t celebrate events publicly. Birthdays, Christmas parties, weddings etc. 

11. You have feelings for him and in love, but you keep quiet and bottle it inside because you know he’s not ready.

Be careful ladies, these situationships are easy to get into. But takes a long time to get out of. It’s all fun and games till someone catches feelings.